A Breast Cancer Diagnosis

A Breast Cancer Diagnosis

Hearing those four dreaded words, "You have breast cancer" is just the beginning of a very difficult and painful journey.

My particular journey consists of: researching cancer and the available treatments in order to make informed decisions that I'll have to live with for the rest of my life (knowing that bad decisions could be deadly); finding a team of doctors that I'm willing to entrust with my life; enduring chemotherapy and the side effects of poisons that attack healthy cells, as well as the cancer (a 4-month process); surgery and reconstruction (a year process); and reaching a point of feeling healthy again, both physically and emotionally. Believe me; this journey is not easy, especially during the early phases.

If you are also experiencing this journey (no matter at what stage of cancer or treatment), you have numerous means to improve your odds of survival and to ensure a quality life after cancer:

• 1. Maintain a positive attitude
• 2. Take steps to prevent surgically induced metastasis
• 3. Find a team of doctors in which you have full faith
• 4. Recognize that you can't do this alone
• 5. Improve your diet: maximize your intake of fruits and cruciferous vegetables
• 6. Take actions to maintain your sense of control
• 7. Have your blood analyzed under a microscope
• 8. Take supplements wisely
• 9. Exercise
• 10. Practice deep breathing and meditation or yoga
• 11. Find relief from the side affects of chemotherapy
• 12. Research and understand your surgical options
• 13. Keep your sense of humor
• 14. Visualize yourself ten years later, happy, healthy, and cancer free
• 15. Remember: It's OK to cry

Going Public with a Breast Cancer Diagnosis, or Not

I found myself feeling caught between a rock and a hard place when someone in our social circle suspected I was wearing a wig. I was torn between going public with the fact that I am fighting breast cancer, or keeping it private. Since I have always been a very private person, my decision from the very beginning was that this is a very personal matter that I did not want to share outside of my support network of family and just a few very close friends.

Until you actually go through chemotherapy, you have no idea how much this awful experience affects you both physically and emotionally. I found myself in tears at the drop of a hat. After my second round of chemo, when my head looked like a half-plucked chicken, all I had to do was look in the mirror. I did not want to be pitied, and besides my need for privacy, I was very concerned that if someone were to approach me, even with a well intended hug, his or her effort to comfort would put me into tears, and I didn't want the added anxiety of trying to keep constant control of my emotions outside of home.

Once I realized that I was stressing out over making a decision on how to handle the situation, I called my Psychologist for her advice. Her advice was excellent. She quickly pointed out how very important it is that I always feel in control, especially during the phase of enduring the unpleasant experience of chemotherapy. She advised that if someone were to approach me wanting to know what's going on, just say, "I appreciate your concern, but I don't want to talk about it right now." And if he or she persisted, continue asking him or her to respect my request for privacy. I'm very glad I called her.

If you are reading this and you are not fighting cancer, you should realize if someone wants you to know she has breast cancer, she will tell you. And if she doesn't want to talk about it, you should respect her right to privacy. As well intended as you may be, you have no idea what it's like to be in a fight for your life against a hideous monster that is eating you from inside while trying to live life to some level of normalcy, during a time when your emotions are turned completely up-side-down.

My Advice to Someone Who Wants to Keep Her Cancer Ordeal Private:

Be very selective of who you include in your support network, for betrayal hurts a lot.

If chemo is required, realize that you will have to be stronger during a time when you feel most vulnerable. You will have to work harder to not look sick and do things at times you'd rather be in bed; you'll have to keep your emotions in check outside of home; and you'll need to create a protective wall around yourself, for you will find that some people are very brazen. A good example of this: while hugging goodbye, someone I had considered to be a friend ran her hand up into the base of my hair to confirm I was wearing a wig. That's pretty sad.

Buy a human hair wig as soon as possible, giving you ample time to have it thinned, colored and styled to match your hair prior to chemotherapy (should chemotherapy be required). Reason being: once you start losing your hair, you will loose it very quickly - to the point hair loss is noticeable within days.

If someone betrays your trust or pulls some asinine stunt, learn to control you pain and/or anger by putting it into a ball and throwing it away. You need to focus you full attention on the process of healing, not dealing with some jerk.