Your Mindset Plays a Role in Surviving Breast Cancer

Cancer Survival Mindset

When I was twenty-one, I encountered another life threatening experience in which I had to make a split-second decision that saved my life. I was in college at the time, living with my parents. They were away for the weekend, so I had been at my brother's home watching a movie with him and his wife. It was around 11:00 pm when I started the drive back to my parent's home. It was only a five-minute drive, but in one particular heavily wooded section, the homes were spaced far apart and set back from the road.

I was driving an old 60's-something Volkswagen that didn't have first gear. (In other words, the car was not an ideal set of wheels.) Suddenly, a car pulls out of a driveway and blocks the road, the driver bolts out and charges at my car. I will never forget the crazed look in his eyes! Without any doubt, I knew I was about to be raped, murdered, or both.

As I sat there wondering how bad “bad” was going to be, in a split second I decided to kill him before he killed me. So, I stomped on the gas pedal and tried to run over him. He managed to jump out of my path, and as soon as I maneuvered my car around his, he was back in his car, right on my bumper.

I knew the area, and I knew better than to try and make it home. So, I used the church parking lot to head back to my brother’s as fast as that Volkswagen would go, with him on my bumper the entire time. When I pulled into my brother’s drive, he stopped in the road, capping the driveway. Since I didn’t have a horn, I raced the engine until my brother came to the front door and finally, the attacker sped away.

We called the police and filed a report, but nothing became of it - other than the fact that I'll never forget how fortunate I was to have not sat there and played the role of a victim.

I am approaching my fight against breast cancer with the same intensity and determination, and I am determined to kill the cancer before it kills me. If you have been diagnosed with cancer, I hope you will do the same. Don't take a "woo-is-me" mindset and play the role of a victim. Be in charge of your battle and fight it with all you've got!

From my perspective, with everything in life, it’s all about attitude. In essence, your mindset controls your destiny. You can wallow in negativity and self-pity - seeing yourself as the victim; or take a positive approach in taking charge of your fight against cancer - it’s your choice. After being diagnosed my attitude was, “It is what it is.” But, within a couple days of digesting my breast cancer diagnosis, I decided that my motto for 2010 (as well as my email tag line) would be, “There’s always an UP side.”

Ty Murray, while competing in Season 8 of "Dancing with the Stars" made the statement, "Determination is a powerful thing." I fully agree.

Recognize That You Can't Do This Alone

Of all the things for which I am thankful, I am most thankful for my relationship with my husband. Once we were told those dreadful words, "You have breast cancer", his attitude became "WE have breast cancer". He has been with me to just about every doctor appointment; spent countless hours researching the internet like a professional researcher determined to learn as much as possible; and helped prepare questions and review answers from every appointment. He has taken responsibility for grocery and household shopping, as well as preparing all our meals since the diagnosis, which has been a God-send. Most days during chemotherapy when I returned home from work, I had just enough energy to eat what he put in front of me before going straight to bed completely exhausted.

He has been very involved in the research that lead to the supplements I've taken since the breast cancer diagnosis. Especially the regimen of supplements I took during the 2-weeks prior and after surgery. He has driven me to and from the hospital, and all the doctor appointments following surgery during the three-week period in which I was not allowed, nor able to drive. And he has been there for me emotionally like I never imagined possible.

There were many days (especially during the 4th - 6th rounds of chemotherapy) in which my emotions were completely raw. I would cry at the drop of a hat, most often as soon as I walked in the house returning home from work. When I walked through the door from the garage, my husband would be standing there ready to take me into his arms should I need to cry, and he'd stand there holding me as I sobbed for as long as I felt like crying. There were a couple times when we were spending time together in our garden that he started crying first. We just embraced and held each other - both sobbing until the crying stopped. Those moments reached a level of intimacy that cannot be described, nor forgotten.

I do hope you have someone in your life to support you as my husband has supported me. If you don't, recognize that you will need help. If your therapy includes chemotherapy, you will need the help of friends more than you probably realize. The same holds true for major surgery. So, if anyone offers to help you, don't refuse the offer. You will need a network of support.